| This morning on my iPhone Notepad |
[Mar. 14th, 2009|12:02 am] |
Overwhelmed
By a wave I unleashed but did not create
Someone calm the sea or split it for me
Or buy me a f---ing boat
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| They never sew on buttons. |
[Oct. 20th, 2008|12:56 am] |
(Disclaimer: The persona is not me. Hehehe.)
They never sew on buttons. They’d sew on zippers and studs and patches, but never buttons. They made that clear in a big white sign outside their door:
WE DO NOT SEW ON BUTTONS.
They never even wore any clothing with buttons. Not a single one of them. And not a single button on a single one of them. Nothing.
I invited the owner, Martin, over for some shandy last week. Martin is the kind of shop owner you’d see on TV or in the movies — big, balding, burly, and hoarse-voiced. The ones who smell like sweat and aftershave lotion, and have hair on their knuckles.
I asked him about the aversion to buttons.
“BUTTONS! BAH!” He pounded his fist on my table. “They’re of the lowest form of sort of class, I tell ya’s! They’re perfectly round, and they’re perfectly clean, and they’re perfectly holy!”
“Holy?” I asked. “What? Holy?”
“HOLY! They have HOLES! HOLY!”
Martin was screaming with pent-up impatience. It was rather amusing. He went on.
“HOLY CLEAN ROUND JERKFACES! I hate them buttons. I see them everyday with them stinkin’ pamphlets in their hand, and stinkin’ judging disappointed faces, trying to share that stinkin’ ‘savin’ knowledge’ of their God!”
….He said that so quickly, so sharply, so surely, that I didn’t even have time to be shocked that a seemingly innocent discussion on tailoring decisions turned into a rant against our religion.
He regained his composure. Inhaled, exhaled, sipped shandy, and then spoke softly.
“Bloody buttons. We never sew on buttons. They keep sewing themselves on us.”
Quietly, I stood up and reached for my purse. I took out a pamphlet, and handed it to him. I left him and started walking to my room.
“Our helper will walk you out the door now. Read the pamphlet when you get home. Tonight I will pray that God forgive you for your evil words and bring salvation to your soul. Good night, Martin.”
One day he will see the light. |
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| Writer's Block: Life With ADHD |
[Sep. 10th, 2008|02:37 pm] |
There's was this one time where...
Oh look, candy!
---
Goodness, I looked at the other answers and a lot of them cracked pretty much the same joke. Which, of course, was brought to my attention by a commenter.
I work in a theatre company. That theatre company is composed of crazy people. I don't think any of them legitimately have ADHD...but there are certainly times when they almost convince me to think otherwise. And they almost certainly cause all of us to crack up.
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| Behind the tired happy eyes... |
[Aug. 24th, 2008|10:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thirsty | ] |
| [ | music |
| | silence | ] |
- Actual happiness - Overall it was a good day today. Great, even. RAPUNZEL had its second show, and it was a very successful outing. Props to everyone involved! Oh, and I did sound cues, and ROCKED IT BABY. (Sorry, still reveling in the glory.)
- Actual tiredness - Read above.
- A smidgen of paranoia - It sneaks in when your guard is down, which is usually when you're tired. The thoughts that creeped in were the STUPIDEST. (...or were they?)
- A missing that's still there.
- An impatience with myself - It's during absolute exhaustion that I'm least patient with myself. It's wrong. No, it isn't self-control, it isn't self-discipline, and it isn't perfectionism. It's IMPATIENCE with myself, and it's wrong. Cut me some slack, me!
- A kind of peace - But I hope it rises up the surface soon, and kicks out the blah.
- I just remembered that I still have a congratulatory hug due me. May this blog serve as the reminder to the congratulator.
- Heh, and I wish she was still awake!
- Now, sleepiness... Yes. I shall get off the computer and breathe and breathe and read and fall asleep.
Good night, all. |
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| First. |
[Aug. 15th, 2008|11:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Silence. | ] |
I'm back here.
Welcome, dear LJ friends, to deadman talking: livejournal of doom AliveJournal.
My last post was from 2006. My goodness. Back when my favorite imagery involved fire and war and soldiers and fighting and winning. How caveman.
Things have changed since then. A whole heck of a lot of things have changed since then. Of course, if you've followed me online elsewhere, you probably know already. If not... uh, no problem. Let's catch up one time.
Maybe I can start a blog series about the changes since 2006. Heh, maybe that means I'll have stuff to blog about for the next year. And beyond.
Yeah, maybe I can do that. Let's see what happens.
For starters, though... I want to go home. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 15th, 2006|11:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ...indignation. the good kind. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | war. | ] |
i had a weird dream last night. long story, but it had a message, which God just revealed a while ago...
the enemy wants to destroy you...but the thing is, he can't. as in, HE CAN'T.
so whats the next best thing to destroying you? DISTRACTING YOU.
the big, mean, dog is not capable of biting you away from your destiny, so he tries to BARK BARK BARK loud enough that you lose focus. and eventually, that bark will get your attention on the enemy. and the moment it's the enemy you're loooking at, you're gonna be paralyzed with fear. and when you're paralyzed with fear, you're as good as dead.
realize this: the ENEMY CAN'T BITE YOU. HE CAN'T HURT YOU. HE CAN'T TOUCH YOU. but he'll try his darnedest to get you off the race to your destiny. he's gonna bark his heart out. he's gonna scare you. he's gonna intimidate you. he's gonna scream and shout and kick.
...but he can't touch you.
"yeah, mikey. i know he can't touch me. but what do i do about the whole barking thing? i mean, it really is pretty scary."
i know. but check this out: "...let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us FIX YOUR EYES on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." - Hebrews 12:1b-2
Fix your eyes. And run. With all you've got. TRUST ME. IT'S WORTH IT.
---
just a scripture...
IF YOU FALTER IN TIMES OF TROUBLE, HOW SMALL IS YOUR STRENGTH.
buti nalang may grace.
im sick of watching people fall. im sick of watching people stumble. im sick of it...just sick of it.
it's not too late. you've tasted, and you've seen. you know it's worth it. this world is rubbish, man. im telling you.
it's not gonna last you. you know what does. |
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| A Whole New World. |
[Jan. 1st, 2006|03:19 am] |
Two-Thousand and Six.
The revolution begins. Scars and all.
Glory coming up. Watch out!
Prepare.
Get ready.
No blinking this time.
Two-Thousand and Six.
Not to us. But to Your Name be the glory. |
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| "MIGHTY" pala ah. |
[Dec. 18th, 2005|10:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Angry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | War. | ] |
MIGHT isn't for posing.
Don't call yourself a soldier if all you are is a bodybuilder.
Can I say that again?
DON'T CALL YOURSELF A SOLDIER IF ALL YOU ARE IS A BODYBUILDER. |
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| Not what I expected |
[Dec. 5th, 2005|01:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited. big time. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Aircon | ] |
I was on my rooftop, gazing at the stars. It was beautiful. I was enjoying God's glory. But I wanted to see something extraordinary. So I asked God, "Show me something I don't see everyday."
Of course, I expected a cool cloud, or a shooting star, or a comet, or a night rainbow. Something dramatic, you know?
Two seconds later my mom knocks in (or out?). "Mikey! Come here, look at the painting I'm gonna post on the wall."
I get up and go to her, almost frustrated at the interruption.
"It's an authentic Australian Aborigines painting," she says.
"Okay. Cool." Then I walk back to where I was before she came, and started looking at the stars again. I suddenly remembered my request to God.
I asked my mom, "Is that painting something you see everyday?"
Funnily, she replies with a very solidly enunciated "NOPE!"
And then I laugh out loud.
God's such a wiseguy, isn't he? |
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| pure and holy |
[Nov. 8th, 2005|12:12 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | WRAAAHHHH!!!! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | all about Jesus - Planet Shakers | ] |
Psalm 51:10 - "Create in me a pure heart, O God."
I know it's not just me.
Our hearts easily get polluted. So we ask God to create a brand new, pure one for us. Over and over again.
Right?
And over and over again, they get polluted. Why?
Because we forgot about the HOLINESS part.
Purity and holiness come hand in hand. Look at the entire Bible. Every single person there became impure at some point in time. Sure, at some point God created a pure heart in them. But not a single one of them was 100% pure for ALL of his or her life.
Except one.
Jesus remained 100% pure because he was 100% HOLY.
Not "holy" as in religious, obedient, and "nice". He was "holy" as in his life--his HEART--was 100% reserved, dedicated, and CONSECRATED TO GOD
His heart was TOTALLY SURRENDERED to the LORD. His heart, his thoughts, his life-- NONE of them belonged to him. It was absolute Lordship.
And he remained pure.
Guess what: No matter how many times you ask God to create a pure heart, if your heart is still YOURS--even just a FRACTION, it CANNOT REMAIN PURE.
Even just a fraction. Even just a tiny, little, itsy-bitsy, "but there's really nothing wrong here", compromising fraction.
Leviticus 11:45 - "...therefore be holy, because I am holy." |
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| Nah. |
[Nov. 4th, 2005|05:52 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Unang Hirit on TV. Haven't slept. | ] |
You are Revelation.
Tell the world of God's impending wrath?
Almost there, but missed completely.
Heh.
"People need a leader...I'm here to lead."
Astig. |
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| Mikey sold out! |
[Nov. 1st, 2005|07:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | war mode...again. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bring Me Down ringing in my ears. | ] |
So, after several months of pride, I finally have a Multiply.
http://mikeybuuy.multiply.com/
I'll still be posting here, though. Unless I say otherwise.
---
So God woke me up at 5am. We talked for like an hour. I was just pouring my heart out. I was feeling a bit frustrated that I wasn't "feeling" him as much as before. I knew I shouldn't depend on emotions, but I felt frustrated nonetheless. I was tired of the routine, and I tried to break free from it, but it seemed as if things were bettter as a routine. So even if I knew He is worthy to be praised, I felt unworthy to praise him...like there was something wrong with me.
Gets?
I sing "Draw Me Close" over and over and over again.
I start to feel better. I felt like I was coming to my senses more and more. I was remembering His Word. The prophecies, the promises, the power...His Word.
I snap open my Bible.
Ps. 147:10-11
His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his delight in the legs of a man;
the LORD delights in those who fear him,
who put their hope in his unfailing love.
It took a while. But it did sink in.
And then I melted.
And now it's game time.
"Welcome back. Let's fight!"
---
Speaking of fights, I just walked for an hour. Sweated a lot. Feels great.
"'I'm not here for Christ!' Bust the place, bust the place! No! No! Mercy! Yes!"
"Do you want a revolution? Whoop! Whoop!"
"You can't bring me down...'til you hear what I'm tryin' to say!"
No, you really can't. |
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| Just a while ago. |
[Oct. 30th, 2005|01:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | We Speak to Nations playing in my head. | ] |
I met with my old barkada.
It was strange.
We played NBA 2K6. We ate. We talked. We watched part of the Self-Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior.
It was just like old times. Except...not. I stuck out like a sore thumb. Which I expected.
Anyway.
I found myself missing them.
I didn't miss the yosi. I didn't miss the alcohol. I didn't miss the senti-ness.
I sure as hell didn't miss the lifestyle.
But I truly did miss the people.
On the way home, I realized that I didn't spend most(by this point) of my life with them for no reason.
My spending time--YEARS-- with those people weren't "wala lang". No way.
God had a purpose. All those years...God had a purpose.
Wow.
I'm excited for it to be fulfilled.
Take this, God. I'd fumble if it were me.
Thank you. |
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| "...for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world." |
[Oct. 27th, 2005|11:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | amazed, rescue - Desperation | ] |
You hear that?
I'm not of this world. No more than Jesus is.
I refuse to live by this world's sorry standards.
I would know. I used to.
And they're pathetic compared to this.
You want to fill that hole, that emptiness? You want to be whole? You want to know, live, and fulfill your purpose? You want to build a legacy?
You want to live life to the fullest?
Of course you do.
But HOW MUCH?
It really doesn't matter what "religion" you are...even if you already are a *christian*.
How much do you want it?
Do you want it enough to live beyond the sorry standards of this fallen world?
Or is being "comfortable" more important to you?
Trust me. Comfort's rubbish.
So, how much?
Ask yourself.
I dare you. |
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| "Schmuck." |
[Oct. 25th, 2005|01:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | angry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | TV sounds. | ] |
A compromise is a compromise is a compromise.
...is a compromise.
Bulag-bulagan.
The heart is deceitful above all things, my friend.
Fix this. Before God does it for you.
Trust me. You wouldn't want it that way. That hurts.
Oh, that hurts. Oh, boy.
---
Listen, everyone.
Yes, you.
If Jesus is not Lord of your life, your life isn't worth squat.
I don't care if you're a "Christian" already.
I don't care if your religion is "Born-Again Christianity".
I don't care if you're a "leader" in a Christian youth group.
If Jesus isn't Lord of all, He isn't Lord at all.
Who runs your life? Who calls the shots? Who's on top? Who is your FIRST THINGS FIRST?
Is it your friends? Your *loved* ones? Your flesh? The desires of your heart?
Think about it. It matters.
The consequences are huge.
Maximus Decimus Meridius is right. What you do in life really does echo in eternity. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 23rd, 2005|10:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | war mode | ] |
| [ | music |
| | NatGeo TV | ] |
a lot of things are after my heart.
heck, even I'M after my heart.
but my heart doesnt belong to me.
---
no. i have no time for you. none at all.
there's a war going on.
i have a destiny to fulfill.
i have a legacy to build.
i have a God to glorify.
sorry. you're just rubbish now.
---
2 Timothy 2:4
No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs—he wants to please his commanding officer. |
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| Excellence in humor |
[Oct. 23rd, 2005|03:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | war mode | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bliss - Kissing | ] |
Cannon in your town!!! |
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